dysphorism:

DO YOU EVER JUST

GET JEALOUS SO EASILY

LIKE NO 

THAT PERSON IS MINE

DON’T BREATHE AROUND THEM PLEASE AND THANK YOU

Anonymous
I want to ride you.

mrtwentington:

as long as we use protection

phukers:

Ok but what does your dick look like

cumber-bitches:

"NO MUM GET OUT MY ROOM. NO. I KNOW THAT BOTTLE IS EMPTY. YES I KNOW. NOOO! PUT IT DOWN. PUT. IT. DOWN. I LIKE THAT BOTTLE THERE. I DON’T CARE THAT IT’S EMPTY. LEAVE MY ROOM PLEASE. NO STOP TOUCHING STUFF. OH MY GOD JUST LEEEAVVVVEEEEE."

irenigg:

metrogoon:

If you’d rather go to a club than a museum, you deserve to be unhappy.

museum? what the fuck is in a museum? they got bitches in museums? alive bitches?

snorlaxatives:

i’m so popular at parties i make the best mixed drinks

things I should be doing: reading
things I want to do: read
thing that I am putting off for no conceivable reason: reading